Almost near exam time ..
There must be some relationship conflict between my parents and my love one.
Every time the same thing happen.
My parents love to argue with me its like a hobby.
They love to stop me from doing everything they doesn't like
I feel so annoying and started screaming.
I don't like to argue I will just quiet.
Please don't make me angry and keep adding stress in my life.
Relationship is my choice.
I'm stress enough in my studies.
I just want some peace and some space.
I'm so jealous to see my neighbor bringing his girl friend home.
Their parents smile and serve the girl with love and happiness.
My mum told me my neighbor's girl friend pretty and nice.
She said "See ~ people go Uni already, got girl friend already"
I was screaming in my heart, I have one also.
But you !! Hell keep complaining and so do dad.
My cousin thought my mum was so kind and open-minded.
They have girl friend / boy friend already , rejected by my aunt (cousin's mum)
then my mum will give courage advise.
My cousin sister always say my mum is great.
Yes ! great just on the outside.
I log in my FB and saw my friend in high school in a relationship
Then I curious who is the guy, mum at my side and say
"you also desperate to have one is it ???"
During the time I in form5, mum say Uni can involve in love life
the time mature already.
Liar ! every single guy approaches me you and dad doing bad things behind to
shut it down. like you two did not say and I won't found out in my way.
I hate it when you think your daughter always deserve better and better.
I will be happy if you start praise me every time I won in competition.
I will be crazily happy when I wake up early in the morning clean the house
you say me good girl.
I just need simple care and praise.
Then I will wake up early everyday to clean the house.
Please don't complain that the corridor still got dust and say me do
things so irresponsible.
I feel my effort so waste ant it does not make you satisfy at all.
PLEASE DO NOT SAY I'M PERFECT WHEN YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE A GUY THAT YOU
DON'T LIKE, THAT IS NOT A REASON, IT IS JUST A STUPID F***ING EXCUSE.
YOU ALWAYS COMPLAIN ME LIKE I'M SO TERRIBLE, I REMEMBER IT !!!
NOW YOU SAID I'M PERFECT AND DESERVE BETTER ??
If you can just praise me and make me feel I'm good.
If you can just say sister is good and so do I .
If you can just say I'm a good girl that never disappoint you.
If you can just don't scream at me all the time.
If you can say sorry after you misunderstood me.
If you can stop caning me and let me explain.
If you can stop suspect me when I never do wrong.
I will be a girl that have high expectation.
I will be much confident.
I will be more motivated.
Why I'm spoil ?
You never look at me when I try hard to please you.
You never feel happy I feel strongly disappointing.
You never buy a things for me as a gift without terms and condition.
You are the first person, so far no 2nd yet who say me ugly.
You told me no one will like me.
You say my attitude is the worst.
You suspect me.
I AM NOT !!!
I just need a single word from you.
When I try to love my sister, can you please say you like what I did and can you love me more when I did something good?
I clean the house early in the morning before you wake up, can you say its neat and you like it? Can you say it need to be improved instead of it is nothing difference although I have busy for whole morning?
Why I do not l reply you or text you often ?
Why I don't call you often ?
Ask yourself !!
Why you have to scold me every time?
Why you always think I am wrong?
Why you never ask me before you made conclusion?
WHY SHOULD I WASTE CREDIT TO ADD STRESS?
WHY I MUST BURN MY MONEY TO HARM MY HEALTH ??
In my relationship,
I there's a question, like a hint..
I've little scare and insecure
I feel like my decision seems wrong sometimes.
I love my boyfriend because he love me first.
A guy that have not disappoint me yet.
I really really can't accept one fact.
My boy friend say he won't leave me.
Never find other girl because no so much money.
How if one day he be rich already?
That time, money ain't a problem anymore.
My boy friend say he won't find 2nd wife.
But when it comes to family questions..
1st time maybe is naive ..
2nd time is not might be smart isn't it..?
I'm so sad to know that my boy friend say
his mum did take care of his uncle's child.
Everything seems to be right for my boy friend.
How if some time in the future,
my boy friend meet some girl that need him
then he left me, not divorce, just left ..
Just sleep with the woman ..
Accompany that woman ..
Work with that woman ..
Long time come back visit me once..
He told me did not divorce,
he got call the woman send money to me and promise me
what that woman's kids have my kid will have it too
and he promise me that woman's kid will friend with my kid like a friend
or maybe like biological siblings.
And he tell me like what bible say, be fruitful ..
No people can accept sharing,
I need to have it all alone, so do you and he and she..
In this case, really can't have a right answer.
I know my boy friend say he won't ..
If I believe won't ..
How can I explain the fact that on other side
my boy friend say its not wrong to share husband when
the man got do his responsible to send back the money ??
Sometimes I really confused.
Think of the title "Christian" , trust able.
I believe my boy friend is a strong believer.
But, when it came to reality, morality ..
Which should I based on? What I believe? or what I hear?
I said I trust my boy friend. But that question just keep bother me.
It seems from the starting until now I never get an answer.
How am I suppose to accept the fact clearly, properly ?
Which should I believe ?
"It's not wrong to share as long as got support financially"
"Can never have 2nd because bible said so?"
Why it has to be so complicated?
Always say simple but my side, its complicated.
I'm standing middle, between junction of decision..
I don't want to loose. I need answers and a solution.
